It has been witnessed that some people have every thing which is cherished by most people like money, success, social stats and hundreds of thousands of followers yet their life looks miserable. Meanwhile, others have lesser fortune but they find their own ways to stay happy and comfortable. Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist and psychotherapist spent years to analyze human behaviors. He assumed that happiness is not something we achieve, rather its something which happens to us when we stop running from ourselves. Car Jung stated that majority of people spend their entire lives trying to become someone else, which ultimately becomes a reason of their sufferings. Let’s understand some of the most powerful lessons on happiness and why they matter more than ever in a world that is obsessed with external success. Most of us have been taught a same formula to attain happiness-get good grades, get a good job and make a lot of money, but life don’t work this way. When we succeed one goal, another one takes its place, then another one and this cycles never stops. After some time, excitement fades and satisfaction disappears. Carl Jung noticed that many of his patients were not suffering because he lack success but the reason behind their distress was the lack of meaningful life. While their outer lives look perfect but their inner lives feel empty. Carl Jung stated,
“People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own souls.”
Carl Jung
Most of the people spend years in improving their lives but never try to understand their selves. This is exactly where unhappiness begins. No understand some lessons from Jungian philosophy on how to stay happy in this challenging and competitive world.
Number 1 : The Mask your are wearing is making you tired:
Just image you have to wear a costume not just on a specific day but for your entire life. That’s what Jung called the persona, means the version of yourself you want to show the world, the successful and confident version. The problem is that with passage of time mask becomes exhausting as it force you to laugh when you are hurt, say yes when you want to refuse, pretend that everything is fine when it’s not. Overtime, you lost your contact with your real self and when that happens, happiness becomes impossible to attain as happiness can only happen to a real human being not to the mask. Carl Jung stated,
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”
Carl Jung
Many times, people spend their entire lives with out even understanding their own self but the real happiness begins the moment we start thinking what is true for ourselves rather than asking what people want from me?
Number 2: You shadow hold the key:
Many people think that happiness revolve around focusing on the positive thoughts, but Jung believed something even deeper. He argued that inside every person there is a shadow which contains everything we reject about ourselves including fear, jealousy, insecurity, pain and weakness. People most of the time ignore these emotion but ignoring emotions doesn’t make them disappear rather they simply go underground and from there these emotions try to control us. As, the anger we deny become bitterness, fear we suppress become anxiety and the insecurity we hide becomes a comparison trap. Carl Jung stated that
One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”
Carl Jung
This is one of his well known ideas which depicts that real happiness is not about becoming perfect but about staying honest to yourself. The moment we stop fighting parts of ourselves, we become lighter because carrying a secret war inside ourselvs is exhausting. Acceptance creates peace instead of perfection.
Number 3: Stop chasing approval:
One of the biggest reasons behind unhappiness is chasing every other person’s approval. In todays, social media age, majority of people ran behind validation like our post, work, habits and routines all revolve around the social validation. Here the real tragedy is not just validation but the fact that the approval is never permanent. No matter what you do or how well you do , some people will still criticize you, some may dislike you or go against you. Carl Jung said,
The shoe that fits one person pinches another.
Carl Jung
Carl Jung believed that there is no universal path to happiness. Some people really love to build business empire, other love to teach or doing painting. Likewise, some women, like to become home makers while other like to progress financially. The problem begins when we abandon our path and try to follow others just for validation. The happiest person is not who is most successful but the one who is most authentic.
Number 4: Meaning is important than comfort:
Modern world prefer comfort over boredom. We try to avoid discomfort, struggle or uncertainty but Carl Jung belied that a meaningful struggle is far better than a meaningless comfort. Loss, failure, heartbreak are often stepping stone to success and growth. The experience we would never choose becomes the reason behind our constructive transformation. Jung observed that suffering becomes unbearable when it lose meanings, but when suffering have a purpose, it becomes a guide, teacher and a catalyst for growth. It does not mean that human should seek pain instead we must try to achieve sense of purpose because happiness with out a purpose means nothing.
Number 5: The danger of perfection:
Many people postpone their happiness as they have set standards to achieve so that they can be happy. For instance, they tell themselves that they will be happy when they lose weight, get promotion, earn more money or find a perfect relationship. But perfection is a moving target as you reach one destination, then immediately create another goal. Perfection is impossible to achieve as human beings are naturally imperfect. When we go against nature to make ourselves perfect, we create endless frustration but trying to become whole creates peace which means accepting your strengths but embracing your weaknesses as well. This acceptance creates inner peace and stability.
Carl Jung never promised a life with out pain. No wise person ever would. But he offered something more important and valuable which a path to wholeness, a path where happiness is not dependent on circumstances, approval or status but in self understanding. Carl Jung stated that
“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
Carl Jung
May be, the life you try to find somewhere out there, is waiting within you and perhaps the real happiness begins the moment you have the courage to meet your real self.